Every time I need my phone. It’s dead. And I don’t mean I’m waiting for a bus and I want to pass the time or I need to text a friend about catching up. I mean I’ve just moved to a brand new city and I am approximately 25 kilometres from where I need to be in about 2 minutes, or I need to call the person that is 25 kilometres away and I’m supposed to be meeting in 2 minutes, or I’m in a dark alleyway behind a nightclub wearing a skirt that’s rather short and heels that are impractical to run away from potential killer but looked pretty good earlier in the night when I was taking mirror selfies in the safety of my room. Every imperative time I need my phone it may aswell be a loaf of bread because it is never any use to me. However the other day I had probably had the most embarrassing and potentially most dangerous experience that has eventuated from my phones persistent refusal to stay alive.
I called an Uber when my phone was on 1% and after being assigned one I proceeded to do what I always do when I call an Uber. Google the car. Because I don’t even know what model my car is let alone Susan in her Hyundai. Yet alas, as I attempted to refresh my memory of an i20 my phone died which meant not only did I not know when my Uber driver would arrive, I was also unsure what kind of car I was looking for. SO, when a silver car pulled up literally right where I was standing I was terribly relieved and mentally noted to give Susan a 5 star rating when my trip was complete. I opened the car door, sat down and was about to ask how Susan’s day was going when she screamed.
This was not Susan.
I was not in an Uber.
I was in a middle aged Asian woman’s car who definitely was not about to drive me home.
I tried to explain the situation but she continued to scream so I went to open the door.
But she had locked it.
Then I started to scream partly because I couldn’t get out partly because I realised that, had this woman not been more terrified of me then I was of her and she was in fact someone completely different perhaps I could’ve been in very hot water. But luckily a near death experience had been averted by seemingly picking the right car to jump into unannounced.
So after my non Uber driver had stopped screaming for me to get out of her car, I calmly announced to her that it was locked.
After she unlocked it, I did as she asked and got the fuck out of her car.
All this commotion occurred, purely and utterly because Apple has the audacity to create products that lose charge in less than three hours. I petition for better battery charge and for Uber to provide a picture or the colour of the car, because my phone is always dead, and unless I learn the models of cars or how to make my battery last, one day I will be too.
ART CREDIT: https://www.instagram.com/moniiqwa/