I know some people thrive from routine but I am not one of them. Waking up every morning and doing the same thing makes me feel as though my bones are plated with monotony. Boredom begins to creep in between getting up, showering and putting on make-up. Tediousness leaks through me as I grocery shop, unpack it, cook food and do the whole thing again when the fridge becomes empty. I spot marks on floor and think, ‘God did I not mop just last week?’ Then remember I have to clean everything once a week. The floors, the benches, the bathroom, strip your bed of the sheets, wash them, then fit the sheets on again. I realise that this is life and it is both exhausting and boring at the same time.
Semantic satiation is the technical term for when you say a word over and over and over it loses its meaning after a while. And I can’t help but think the same goes for the days we live. You wake up and wake up and wake up and pretty soon you don’t remember why. The most exciting thing that happened to me last week was my shower door falling off and the tempered glass almost hitting the back of my head cracking my skull. Some people have near death experiences like driving their car off a bridge or being struck by lightening. All I needed was to face the prospect that I could have died naked and cold in my bathroom by a badly manufactured door to sort me out. And I mean isn’t that the most first world problem of all? Having to stare in the face of potential tragedy in order to feel alive again? So I took my D grade near death experience, tied my hair up with it and decided to get out of my rut. I wrote this. I wrote a blog post when I hadn’t written one in over 3 months. And then I kept it on my desktop for about three weeks wondering if I should post it, wondering if anyone still cares what I have to say. Then deciding I don’t think anyone did in the first place. I spent way too much time thinking about what other people wanted to see me write and that then became part of my rut which put me further in my rut and further away from getting out of my rut. So this is me, trying to say rut over and over till it looses it’s meaning and until I’m no longer in one. I’ve decided to semantic satiation myself out of my rut. I guess if I post again next week it means I succeeded.
Image by @kellymaker